Mother’s Day can be particularly difficult to manage when your Mum has died. Here is some advice from bereaved families about how they spend Mother’s Day…
“Talk about how you are feeling and plan what you will do together.”
“Talk to people who understand that time moves on but memories never do.”
“Do what you want, not what you think will suit others. Talk, cry, laugh, remember.”
“Be gentle on yourself and do what is right for you. It may be that you feel it important to ‘be there’ with other family members, but if time for yourself feels important, make sure you get some!”
“Take some time before the day to think together about the feelings that are around this year. Don’t assume that what was felt last year will be felt again this year- feelings change over time.”
“Think about what to do, and make space for both remembering the one who has died and having fun with those who care for us now. Try to find the balance if you can.”
“If it’s the first year, have a plan, but allow flexibility to change plans depending on how you feel. Remember that the anticipation is sometimes worse than the event.”
“Keep things simple, try not to get sucked into the hype and don’t force yourself into doing the typical ‘family’ things that might make you feel sadder.”
“Think of ‘Mothering Sunday’ as the day we celebrate all those in a mothering role and who care for us (which can include single dads / grandparents etc.) rather than the more limited ‘mothers’ day’. And remember to ‘mother’ yourself – be gentle in expectations of yourself on this day, and make sure to plan a treat for yourself.”