Whatever your age, Father’s Day without your dad can heighten feelings of loss. And, with lockdown and the sense of isolation this has brought, this year may feel even more poignant.
These words from others in the same position might help. Remember…
- ‘Do what you want, not what you think will suit others. Talk, cry, laugh, remember.’
- ‘Talk about how you are feeling and plan what you will do together.’
- ‘Keep things simple, try not to get sucked into the hype and don’t force yourself into doing the typical ‘family’ things that might make you feel sadder.
- ‘Talk to people who understand that time moves on but memories never do.’
- ‘Take some time before the day to think together about the feelings that are around this year. Don’t assume that what was felt last year will be felt again this year- feelings change over time.’
- ‘Think about what to do, and make space for both remembering the one who has died and having fun with those who care for us now. Try to find the balance if you can.’
- ‘If it’s the first year, have a plan, but allow flexibility to change plans depending on how you feel. Remember that the anticipation is sometimes worse than the event.’
- ‘Above all, be gentle on yourself and do what is right for you. It may be that you feel it important to ‘be there’ with other family members, but if time for yourself feels important, make sure you get some.’
Think about …
- creating a memory box full of the colours and objects dad would like
- listening to his favourite music or having his favourite meal
- going to a place you know your dad loved, or planting something special in your garden
Take a look too at our free guide for young people all about grief – it’s targeted at teens but speaks to all ages. Then share it with anyone you feel it would help. You can download it here.